Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
