It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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