I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
