So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
