Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
