one might say we're banned from that church
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
