Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
