she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Even my vagina gasped.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
