So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
