What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
