i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
