If that was your dad, he is hot
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
