I look better un-naked...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
