There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
