I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Crop dusting thru forever 21
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
