i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
