Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
