So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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