Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
