cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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