"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
