words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
