you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I currently don't understand fingers.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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