Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize