Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
