Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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