Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
