that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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