By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
