well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
