Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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