The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
