you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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