my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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