let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
