I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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