Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
