we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How external is "for external use only"?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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