You smell like stripper and shame
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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