you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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