worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
