I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
