2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
