After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
