You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
