I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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