apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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