I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
