i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
