I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
