As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
