i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
