You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
