Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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