He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
