just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
