The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
