My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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